Howling Lesson
by Mi
Summary: COMPLETE! Snape - Lupin - 52,43 werewolves - Polyjuice - chocolate - chili - smalltalk - romantic opinions - childhood memories - transformations ... and I really can't put all of this in a summary! This story continues my SSRL series.
1. Chapter 1

Author Notes:

This is the fourth part of what seems to be developing into a whole Snape/Lupin series. And it's the first post-OotP episode. You can read it without knowing the others - but if you want to check out how it all started, and what the hints in this story really hint at, here's the reading order:

****

Of Potions and Wolves (no slash)

****

Care

The Art of Being Nice

Yap, the Queen of Beta, lives in the land of chocolate and rules over Mi (and now blushes shyly). Thanks! 

And, as always, all things Harry Potter belong to J.K. Rowling. Thanks too.

****

Howling Lesson

Chapter 1

Severus Snape chewed unexcitedly on a piece of unbuttered toast while Minerva McGonagall tried to make some kind of conversation.

"Would you pass me the marmalade?" she placed her order. At least Severus thought it sounded like one.

"No," he replied curtly without even looking at the damn thing. "It's out of reach."

"It's not."

"If you say so," he snarled. "But it doesn't make any difference - you still have to get it yourself."

"Alright ..." McGonagall began to stretch right past Severus' plate, knocking over his cup of coffee. 

Severus caught it.

"Oh, sorry," she chirped, but her look made it clear that she most definitely wasn't.

Severus made a growling sound but didn't reply. The new school year had just started and he already was in one of his bad moods. Correction - he was in one of his _badder_ moods. His summer had been ... not what it could have been.

He waited until McGonagall was seated properly again and then got himself another piece of toast.

"Butter?" McGonagall offered. 

He closed his eyes to restrain himself. But when he opened them again Severus was still ready to take the butter and rub it into her face. At that moment a single owl appeared through one of the high windows with a loud and impertinent screech. It was a huge grey owl with enormous wings - and with all the other mail delivered already, every student and teacher looked up to find out about this presumably special delivery.

The owl had almost reached the teachers' table when it suddenly changed directions and decided to fly a loop over the Gryffindor table. It went into a dive and _accidentally_ managed to make Potter spit out his pumpkin juice all over Granger, who screamed when one of its legs got shortly entangled in her hair. It then went back on course and landed gracefully on Severus' shoulder.

He smirked, snatched a large piece of bacon from McGonagall's plate and gave it to Edgar, who hooted approvingly. Apart from that the hall was silent. That definitely was something they didn't see every day, because Severus usually neither stole other people's food, nor got his post delivered, in front of everybody else. He preferred more privacy.

McGonagall shot him another disapproving look and turned away. Severus took the note from Edgar's foot and stared at it. Suddenly the sound turned on again. Students talking, laughing, shouting, bits of conversation were flowing aimlessly around - and he noticed with a slight tinge of embarrassment that he was still holding the letter in front of him. There was only one person who could summon his owl and make it deliver a letter to him like that. And this was the only person he actually _wanted_ to get a letter from. But he wouldn't, would he? 

He sighed inwardly. Throwing people out his office, or out of his life - which was practically the same - wasn't exactly the appropriate thing to do when you had an argument. And he hadn't even accused Severus of anything. He had just tried to cope with what had happened last year - _and_ to sort out their relationship. Of course Severus had tried to ... not to replace Black, which would have been nonsense, but to help. It just didn't work out the way it should have.

And now there was this letter. He felt his heart beating faster with every moment he tried to imagine what it would say - and if it really was from Remus Lupin.

He glanced quickly over to McGonagall, but she was occupied with Flitwick. At least she pretended to be. Whatever ... he unfolded the note.

__

Invitation

to the

2nd ANNUAL WEREWOLF CONVENTION

Special event: HOWLING

Dear Mister/Madam/Miss Snape, S.

You have been invited by a member of the Werewolf Welfare Association (WWA) to take part in our annual meeting. Detailed information you need to attend the 2AWC will be accessible by a Revealing charm (that is if you are Mister/Madam/Miss Snape, S.). Please note: Although this is not a secret conference - please be discreet about the whereabouts.

Yours sincerely, M. K. Packler

PS.: Wolfsbane Potion will be provided to all participants free of charge. 

Severus shook his head disbelievingly and then tapped the parchment with his wand. "Reveal your secret!" Immediately the hidden details appeared and under a rather long and not very useful description of how to find the location, Severus found what he'd been looking for. Only two words, but they were written in Remus' loopy handwriting:

__

Please come.

He took the letter down. Edgar had picked up the last bits of toast from Severus' plate and started to pick at his fingers demandingly. He absently groped around for something to give to the owl. It was absolutely unthinkable that he would go there. Somewhere like this. A - he still couldn't believe it - werewolf meeting. Where everyone was a werewolf. Where werewolves met each other. And yet ... he knew he would go. He would go and see Remus. _Please come._ He was relieved ... and anxious at the same time. 

He read the letter one more time and was about to put it away when something caught his attention. A glimmer at the edge of the paper. He tapped it one more time. "Show yourself!"

__

I bet you spilled your coffee reading this. I am on the WWA's convention committee, and this personal invitation thing was too good to resist. Of course, you can't attend the convention as yourself, so I have arranged things. Do you remember my old friend in London, with the Mindless Moon Syndrome? He's eager to help us out so he can return the favour you did him when you taught me that spell. His name is Tobias Eagletown and he has a genuine invitation. He agreed to stay at home, so you can be him. I attached one of his hairs to the back of the letter. Oh - and please be so kind and bring your supply of Wolsbane Potion. I think five litres should do.

See you there next Saturday. LfR

Severus frowned. Polyjuice Potion. He didn't like it. Not one bit. But - of course the Dark Lord, or worse, the students, would indeed be very pleased if they found out that he entertained himself with - he skipped to the beginning of the page - howling? Whatever that was all about. And five litres of Wolfsbane Potion. How on earth was he supposed to manage ... Of course Mr. Lupin, R. J. had never been the one to care for details like that, Severus thought irritably.

"This has to be a very interesting letter you've got there. You've been reading it for almost fifteen minutes now." 

"It is indeed." He turned to McGonagall, stuffing away the parchment. "Why don't you do something useful and pass me the marmalade?"

***

End Notes:   
I know this chapter was a bit short :-) But I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless. The next one will be longer!   
Mi 


	2. Chapter 2

Author Notes:

Not much to say actually, _only_ thanks to yap for the betas again. More chocolate for you, dear!

The rest of you ... have fun! Go howling! And bring some friends.

****

Howling Lesson

Chapter 2

Severus couldn't do anything to stop himself - he gasped.

"Now _that_ is some improvement!" his mirror commented briskly. "Well?"

Severus ignored it. He wasn't flattered in the slightest. On the contrary. This blasted mirror had been insulting him for years - and now that he looked like some cliché female fantasy ... like some ... extremely good looking ... Well, if he ever cared he would say that he looked absolutely dashing! But he didn't. Much.

Long eyelashes framed brown eyes which glanced amicably through streaks of blindingly blond hair. It was a tiny bit curly and also shorter than his real hair. Severus couldn't resist to run a hand through it - which his mirror on the other hand couldn't leave uncommented. 

"Now look! Finally all your experiments with hair care potions are paying up, aren't they?"

Severus dropped his hand immediately. He didn't like the fluffyness. He also wished his mirror would go back to insulting him. The tone of its voice was really getting on his nerves. 

"Keep quiet and change to full view," he tried to snap - but his deep warm voice only made the glass vibrate gently.

"Uhhh," the mirror almost moaned and obeyed promptly and without the usual complaints.

Severus narrowed his eyes. Then he slowly took off his robe followed by his shirt. He paused. Couldn't hurt to take a look at the rest too, could it? 

"If I hear another word from you," he addressed the mirror casually while unlacing his shoes, "I'll hang you up in my office and you can look at me the whole day. Without - _this_."

The threat worked - either this, or the mirror was just lost for words anyway - and when all his clothes lay neatly folded on his bed, Severus breathed in real deep. That was even better than the face he decided. Not that it _was_ a good face. Oh well ...

He quickly changed into black evening robes and when he adjusted the unavoidable ornamental handkerchief to the breast pocket of his suit he could feel quite a lot of muscles flex. He snorted. Some part of him insisted on wondering if Remus had arranged this disguise for any other reasons than to protect Severus' identity. Perhaps this had been Remus' idea of having a hot date. Perhaps Remus loved his intellect more than his ... stop that! He wasn't cheesily handsome but he sure wasn't _ugly_ as some people never got tired to state. He had an _interresting_ face. And his body was muscular too. He was a spy after all. He had to be in shape. 

He sighed and stopped himself from being an idiot. Remus sure didn't have a crush on this Eagletown. He tried to smirk ... and was instead rewarded with the most charming smile he'd ever seen. The mirror gave a soft moan, shrank to pocket size and hovered expactantly in front of him. 

"You don't think I'll take you with me, do you?" He snatched the mirror and shoved it into an empty potions jar, almost breaking the glass while shutting the lid.

He would kill Remus Lupin. He _so_ _would_ get him back for that. 

He packed all his things - travel coat, Polyjuice emergency supply, five litres of Wolfsbane Potion in a shrinkable chalice, with the addition of a newly invented substance to keep it fresh - and left his quarters. He walked along the dungeon floors towards the Great Hall, but then decided to make a little detour. He emerged from the kitchens two minutes later. Had he taken his mirror with him, he would have been pleased to see that Eagletown was capable of a decent smirk after all. 

He then passed the front hall. It was Saturday and he had thought it safe enough to take the potion while he was still at Hogwarts. He had wanted to see the result before he'd leave for London in case he would look like a troll or something worse. In that case he could have taken another potion he'd always had in store. He even had thought about attending the convention as McGonagall - just to see Remus spill out _his_ coffee. Anyway he'd thought that walking out of Hogwarts as someone else wouldn't draw too much attention to him. A worried father visiting the school to have a talk with his child's Head of House wasn't so unusual. 

But he obviously hadn't thought about what would happen if Eagletown looked like some muscle-packed supermodel Quidditch God. Because the moment he came by a crowd of students, all heads turned, mouths fell open and one girl actually let out a squeaky scream.

Severus stopped to glare at the girl, or to smirk or to sneer or ... but the girl wasn't intimidated at all. On the contrary. She flushed red, giggled and hid behind another squeaking girl - a _Slytherin_ fifth-year he noticed digustedly - who shot him such a drooling look that he blushed in return. 

He turned on his heels so fast he almost ran over Flitwick, who had come to see what the commotion was all about. Severus mumbled an apology to the stunned professor and hurried out of the castle - but not before he had caught another admiring look from Ron Weasley.

***

Severus Apparated in the middle of nowhere. He looked around, but there wasn't much to see. He stood in a clearing with a single building in front of him, surrounded by nothing but trees. The woods were so thick he couldn't see further than ten metres into the forest. Behind that there was darkness. Great! Another Forbidden Forest and another Shrieking Shack. Just the place where he wanted to be on a full moon night. As if he wasn't on edge already. And as a bonus he was going to face not only one but 52,43 werewolves. At least that was the number you got when deviding five litres of Wolsbane Potion by standard issue tea cup. 

He walked to the door of what really _had _disturbing similarities to the Shrieking Shack and listened. He couldn't hear a single voice. He checked his watch. It was a quarter past three and he was sure the convention had started at about two o'clock. Perhaps he could just leave and tell Remus that he had been in the wrong place. But this was childish. He might just as well see it through, now that he had taken all the not-exactly-pains. And he couldn't let 52,43 untamed werewolves run loose all across Hampstead Heath now could he? With a decisive movement, he pushed the door open.

While he hadn't heard anything from outside he now was about to hold his ears to shut out the noise. The room was crowded and people were laughing and chattering as if their lives depended on it to a background of what he vaguely recognised as ... Heavy Iron? Of course, there had to be muggle werewolves, but did they have to bring their music with them? 

Many faces had turned when he'd opened the door and some people were now waving enthusiastically at him. He searched for the one familiar face, hoping against hope that no-one would speak to him until he'd found Remus.

"Ah, Tobias! How good it is to see you old friend. How's it going?" 

It would have been too easy, Severus thought bitterly. An old man of about eighty approached him, patting him hard on the back and Severus was tempted to return this _friendly_ gesture. 

"Acceptable," he replied instead.

"Acceptable? Good Lord, I thought everything went so well for you now?" The old man's eyes twinkled humorously.

"Of course it did. What about ... you? How's your ... wife?"

The man's face lost all its colour and Severus cursed himself silently. Only because he wasn't here as a Death Eater didn't mean he could be sloppy with the improvising. 

"She's gone." The man's eyes filled with tears. 

"I'm really sorry for your loss -" 

"She left me for another wolf," he wailed loudly.

Oh Dear. "Did she now? How could that have happened?" _Oh Dear!_ But the man didn't seem to notice the sarcasm and before he could make another misplaced statement he saw Remus squeezing his way through the mass of people.

"Flahery. Don't give my friend such a hard time. He's uncomfortable enough with all us furballs around." Remus lay one hand on Severus' shoulder. The old man - Flahery - immediately stopped crying and started laughing instead. 

"Remus! My, my ... you look healthy. Good!" 

Remus turned to Severus with a hearty smile - which Severus didn't return. "He played a joke on me?"

"Only a little one, young man. Remus told me to look out for you," Flahery stated cheerfully.

Severus ignored him, his gaze still fixed on Remus. "He knows who I am?"

"Yes. I told a few -"

"Do you actually understand the practical meaning of _'in disguise'_? If everybody knows already there isn't any bloody point to it."

Remus looked flustered.

"Now, now." Flahery took Remus' arm, not willing to give up on what he obviously thought was an interesting conversation. "So this is your professor, then. He sure _does_ have temper, deary me." Remus smiled insecurely and Flahery glanced over at Severus. "I'm an old man, Mr. Professor, but I can still keep a little secret to myself." He twinkled and then something else caught his attention. "Ah, here comes my wife. I think I'll see you both later." And with another pat on Remus' back he left to join a woman who seemed twice his age and just as cheerful.

"So," Remus turned to Severus after a moment of supposed-to-be-silence. "When you're finished with snapping I could show you around."

"The room's half the size of the Great Hall. There's nothing I can't see from where I'm standing. Of course if you want to introduce me to more of your _friends_ -" 

"_Don't_. These people are important to me."

He waved a hand. "I know. I'm just not ..."

"And besides, if you speak low of my friends you're only discrediting yourself in the process."

Severus didn't reply. Remus made a sudden move and his teeth collided with Severus' jawbone when he tried to peck him on the cheek.

"Ouch. What did you do that for?" Severus yelped.

"Better now?"

"No."

"Oh come on. You've never seen me as a wolf and I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to get you slowly acquainted with it."

"I _have_ seen you in wolf form. Which was traumatic enough. It still is! Do you expect me to forget all about it and scratch you behind the ears?"

"But you _have_ to know the other side of me if you want to -"

"I already know more sides of you than I can handle," Severus grunted. "And I'm not keen on seeing you on four legs."

Remus grinned. "You didn't mind when we -"

"THAT - was different." 

There was an awkward pause in which both Severus and Remus tried to keep a straight face. The moment passed but Severus continued to look at Remus. He _did_ seem healthy. Which was good. And the sun had bleached his hair light-brown which contrasted with his tanned skin. And he'd missed him. A lot. That thought hit him somewhat unprepared and his surprise must have shown on his face, because Remus gave a short laugh before he closed his eyes and bent over to give him another, much more convincing kiss.

When Remus could feel Severus relaxing - at least a bit - he drew back. "Come on. Let's go." 

Severus stopped him and cleared his throat.

"You just kissed Eagletown in front of at least fifty people who are not exactly strangers to him. Doesn't that give him something of an unwanted reputation?"

"Maybe. But he's the kind of guy for it. You did look in the mirror, did you? Don't worry. No one will remember that for long and Tobias won't mind. We just give them something to talk about. They'll be happy. Wolves like to gossip."

"So they aren't different after all."

"Hah. Right. Now - let's -"

But Severus still held his arm tight.

"Don't you want to let go of me now? What is it?" Remus looked at him curiously.

"That howling event, what's that supposed to mean?"

Remus made a face. "Oh, that. The WWA has a new - promoter. Mr Bricky thinks we should put more effort into 'giving ourselves a stronger feeling of selfconfidence'. He wants us to look on the bright side of the whole wolf business. Tries to encourage us to," he paused for effect, "_like_ the transformation. On the last convention we went home before the moon came up so we could change in private. This time he arranged for a safe meeting place, charms and everything, so that we all can be together and ... howl at the moon. Because that's what _normal_ wolves do. And if they are happy with it ..."

Severus opened his mouth -

"I know. Don't say it. It's the stupidest thing you've ever heard."

"You don't really expect me to watch. Or to _participate_."

"No! Of course not. You would really look rather stupid among all the wolves. Er ... I mean it would seem rather strange if Tobias didn't transform. Well ... _I_ have to attend, committee member ... "

"Look. I came. I'll stay and let you introduce me to your friends or whatever - but ... Just let me try to cope with one wolf at a time. It's not exactly my idea of a happy get-together." 

"I didn't know you even had ideas of that kind."

"Funny."

"Anyway. I didn't expect you to participate." 

"So, what do you want me to do then?"

"Nothing. Just be yourself. Or rather - don't. Just be. Um. Nice?"

***

"As I was saying ..."

Maliva Packler went on with her lengthy examination on how the Ministry of Magic should handle the latest attempts of You-Know-Who's followers to recruit werewolves. The subject just seemed to be popping up again and again on this convention and Remus tried to listen with polite interest.

"... should do more for the actual concerns of their members ..."

As if all this choosing-sides paranoia could be solved through discussions just like that. 

"... perhaps we should consider more unpopular methods of ... last measure of course ..."

He was distracted by Severus' expression. He, too, looked like one part of him was trying hard to be interested, whereas the other couldn't care less.

"... it's our responsibility as a group. What do you think about this, Mr Eagletown?" she finally finished. Remus held his breath.

"What I think?" Severus said in a low but determined voice which somehow managed to penetrate through all the hubbub and reduce it to mere background. "I think that neither the Ministry nor any other group who wishes to display authority, such as there is, ought to or even could decide this for any member of its _circle_. Everyone has to make that kind of decision for themselves. That's where you choose sides. In your own ... soul. Nowhere else."

Remus caught his eyes and smiled. Severus _could_ say the right words sometimes. Even if they came out without the usual polish.

"That's a rather romantic opinion you've got there. Very ... neat. But I don't think that people always know - in their _souls_ - what's good for them," Packler replied curtly. "Remus," she changed the subject, "have you brought the Wolfsbane Potion from Professor Snape?"

"Of course I have."

He gave it to her and explained the use of the freshkeeping substance, which for a second brought something like an approving grin to Severus' face, and then she left to prepare it. 

"_I_ liked what you said." 

"I didn't like what _she_ said."

"She's just oversensitive on the issue. She wants to do everything right and she, like everybody else, is a bit tense. We don't get much support from ... anyone. And she's done a great job over the last year. She has her heart in the right place." 

"She didn't seem to know Eagletown very well."

"No, she doesn't. Tobias isn't actually a member of the WWA and he was ill during last year's convention. I would've loved to get you to meet him. But perhaps we can do this some other time."

"What do you owe him for anyway?"

"What do you mean?" Remus' expression had gone suspiciously blank and Severus sensed the change of mood immediately. 

"When I taught you that spell," he went on carefully, "you said you owed him. For what?"

"He was the one who bit me," Remus said matter-of-factly and Severus felt like he'd been hit in the stomach.

***


	3. Chapter 3

****

Author Notes:

Oh, nothing but talking here but - hey - isn't communication everything? 

For all those Buffy fans out there: I've put a little quote - if three words qualify as a quote, that is - in this chapter. Five points to the one who finds it first. :-)

Yap, yap, yap ... did the betas ... hooray! Yay!!!!!!

And everything _still _belongs to JKR. Damn.

****

Howling Lesson

Chapter 3

"_What_?" Severus tried to keep his voice down, but at least five heads turned to stare at him.

Remus threw a reassuring smile around before he, too, looked at Severus, who didn't seem to be bothered by the attention in the slightest. "You alright?"

"No, I'm not! He ... destroyed your ... your whole life, and you owe him for that?"

"Not my whole life. Parts of it. But -"

"Whatever! You live in constant fear of the moon, of other people's prejudice, of yourself, of -"

"Is that how you see me?"

"I didn't think I need to tell you, but: No. But that doesn't mean that -"

"So will you shut up for two seconds and let me explain?"

Severus crossed his arms pointedly and put on a deliberately silent expression. He nevertheless managed to include a glare, and Remus was pretty sure that the tantrum would only be delayed, not cancelled. 

"Tobias is ... he has _saved_ my life."

"Has he now?"

"Yes, he has." Remus ignored Severus' attempt on sarcasm. He knew the mechanism by now, glare and all. "You are right - being a werewolf is nothing you learn to live with in a hurry. You have to deal with the pain and the hate for the rest of your life. And most of the time you have to do it alone."

He paused and looked around the room. 

"Thirty years ago it was worse. They didn't build Shrieking Shacks for you - they could send you to Azkaban only for being a werewolf. And if you bit someone they ... werewolves were classified Magical Creatures, so they could be - disposed of if considered dangerous. No human, no trial. I was six. I was playing and I ran away into the forest. I got lost, so I had to spend the night on my own. I wasn't even scared, I had been outside all time when I was a child. I remember falling asleep, and when I woke up ... everything felt different. But I had no idea what had happened - or _why_ I was feeling like this. You just know that something hurt you because you remember the pain. And there are no physical signs to prove anything - no bruises, no scars, not a scratch, because your wounds have closed. Sometimes people simply went home after they were bitten without realising what had happened to them - what they had become. Or on the rare occasions when someone put two and two together, they ignored it, out of shock or embarassment. And after another month they ended up killing their families or friends or whoever they were with at the moment of the transformation."

Remus scanned the crowd again as if he was searching for something. 

"If Tobias had left me behind like most of the werewolves used to do back then ... I could have killed my parents. Or someone else. But he took me home the next day. Explained everything and told them what they had to do. And he stayed with me during my first transformations."

"He better had. It was his bloody fault after all," Severus hissed through still clenched teeth.

"No it wasn't. It wasn't his fault _he_ was bitten. And it wasn't his fault I got lost in the woods. But - it was his _responsibility_ to look after me. I think that's a difference. Only few werewolves realise that. _I_ only understood it years afterwards. You start to think of yourself as something horrible, a bad person, because other people think that, because if you had been good and decent you would never have been cursed like this. You don't realise at first that it's something that was _done_ to you. My parents never forgave Tobias. But he was only sixteen himself and they didn't turn him in. Partly because they knew I needed his help, partly, I think, because they couldn't take a life out of revenge. You know what I mean?"

"Yes ... I do." 

Remus stayed silent and Severus thought that he should say more. He gazed at him, but Remus shook his head with a faint smile.

"So this is the lamentable story of how Remus Jacob Lupin became a werewolf."

"Jacob? I didn't know that."

Remus laughed, and took up the offer, glad that there wouldn't be a tantrum after all. "Do you have a second nam-"

"No!" 

Remus smirked. "Come on. I show you mine - you show me yours."

"I'm not telling. Just because you've done that lengthy lecture doesn't mean _I_ have to join the revealing-your-past therapy session."

"Then I'll guess. Justus!"

"Oh, _please_!"

"Kurt!

...Knut? 

Rockford? ...

FELIX!"

"It's ALISTAIR for God's sake. Satisfied?"

Remus shot him a puzzled look. "Alistair? Why didn't you want to tell? That's ... not a bad name."

"It's my father's name." Severus' face closed off completely and Maliva Packler chose this moment to enter the little stage on the far end of the room. 

"Ladies and Gentleman!" she boomed, and everyone fell silent expectantly. 

Remus wasn't exactly sad about the change of subject - and proceeded to feel guilty about _that _immediately. It wasn't like he didn't want to know about those things, on the contrary. But Severus had never spoken of his family before, and by the look of it, the mentioning of a mere name had brought as many unpleasent memories to him as Remus' own monologue had done for himself.

***

Packler had managed to make a remarkably short speech this time. She declared the buffet was now, despite several individuals' earlier attempts to nick the chocolate, officially opened and that everyone should please feel free to take his or her share of Wolfsbane Potion as well. After this the chatter returned with double intensity and Remus flopped tiredly on a chair. It would take an _eternity_ before he would get his cup.

"What do you say? Shall I get the potion for you and something to eat?" Severus said with unexpected joviality.

Remus frowned. "I say: huh?"

"You did hear about the chocolate? I remember you told me all about that. See, I'm learning."

"Y-es." Remus' frown deepened. This was so ... out of character.

"I'll be back in minute." And with that he took off to be swallowed by the crowd, leaving Remus open-mouthed. Well, wherever that had come from, he hoped there was more. But to be honest - he didn't think that Severus would be like this forever. He didn't even think it would last five minutes. And he wasn't sure he would like it that way.

After what seemed surprisingly less than eternity, Severus returned with two full plates and one smoking cup. One plate he had packed with chocolate of all kinds. The second one displayed some carefully arranged vegetables. Remus blinked.

"I had more chocolate but they snatched it from the plate on my way back. What is it that drives wolves mad like this?" He looked like he wanted to say more, but instead slumped against the wall, catching his breath. 

Remus quickly took the things out of his hands and placed them on a table. "What's wrong?" And as if his question had given some secret cue, Severus clutched a hand to his forehead and over his eyes, letting out a painful sound.

"Severus!"

"It's Tobias and it's alright. It's nothing, just ... I felt funny for a moment."

"You sure _acted_ funny." Remus removed Severus' hand from his eyes and held it for a moment until Severus pulled it back.

"There's no need to hold my hand like that, wolfboy," he snapped. "I'm fine." He rubbed his temples one more time, before he took the cup and shoved it under Remus' nose. "Take it before it stops smoking. I won't have queued for my own bloody potion for nothing."

Remus snatched the cup - and stopped it halfway to his mouth. He wondered if something important had just slipped his mind. He tried to remember what it had been, but was distracted by Severus watching him somewhat unsuspiciously out of the corner of his eye. "What?"

"Nothing."

"Really?" Remus said warily, taking up the cup once more, then stopping again. "That's not the usual colour, is it?"

"No. I've added a special ingredient to it." 

Remus twitched - just a little - but it brought half a smirk on Severus' face. 

"What did you do?"

Severus shrugged. "I added some flavour to it."

"_What_ flavour?"

"Well, sugar doesn't work ..." He paused. "Chili."

"You did ... you added chili to ..." Remus jerked his head around. Almost everyone who'd drunk the potion was coughing heavily by now, their faces red, and some even had tears in their eyes. Most of them tried to keep a straight face but more than one person seemed utterly annoyed. 

Remus turned back to Severus, who matched his shocked look with an evil grin. "What did you do that for?"

"I just prefer subtlety over drooling attention. _And_ I have to buy myself a new mirror."

"You are crazy, you know that, right?" 

"Don't you want to drink your potion?" 

"I'll get you for this," Remus snarled. "Just you wait."

"Sure you will." Severus grinned on and watched him swallowing the potion in one gulp. 

Remus' face started burning immediately and his mouth got twisted in the effort to fake a smile. "That wasn't so bad," he croaked after he finished coughing. 

"Don't fuss around, it stops in a second. I know you can't take much."

And before Remus could cough out another retort, the burning in his throat ceased and was replaced by a slight numbness. He put the cup away and made a thoughtful face. "You know what? I think that _was _an improvement."

Severus' eyes narrowed. "Was it?"

"Yes. But, really, I would have thought that the resident Hogwarts Potions Master would have found a solution for that in much less time than - let me think - three years?"

Severus' voice became threateningly low. "Do you have any idea how complicated that potion is to make in the first place? It requires a lot more than the usual -" He stopped upon the wide smile that showed on Remus' face. 

"You fall for it every time."

"And you just don't know when to stop."

"Oh, look who's talking."

"You better think about the next full moon before you -" 

"What do you want to do? Add strawberry taste to the potion?"

"I have something in mind that will bring some real colour to your cheeks. And don't go running off to Black if -" 

He froze. Of all the stupid things ... Remus looked away and Severus was glad he didn't have to see his face.

"It's okay. I keep forgetting too."

"I know ... you sometimes talk in your sleep." The words were out before he could stop them. 

Remus darted around. "What? When?"

"Not very often."

"Why didn't you tell me?" he snapped.

"It's not that I've been spying on you," Severus replied sharply.

"It's just ... You could wake me up next time."

Severus sneered. "As if anything could. Believe me - I tried."

"So you _did_ try? Why didn't you tell me then?"

"Because it wasn't ... "

"It wasn't what?"

"It wasn't important." He turned away, making clear that the discussion was finished.

***

End Notes:

I know this sounds RL/SB implied, but it wasn't meant to. They were _friends_. :-)


	4. Chapter 4

Author Notes:

Just wanted to say that I know Wolfsbane Potion has to be taken a week before the full moon. Or rather, consciously ignored, for narrative's sake. Please, don't flame me. :-)

Yap did the betas and this time she even _'crudely interfered'_ with my writing. ;-) Some very beautiful lines in the last paragraph are from her. Thanks!

Mi

**Howling Lesson**

**Chapter 4**

An hour later Severus was sure about one thing - it was a lot easier to _kill_ a werewolf than to shut him up. He'd been thinking that Remus was the most talkative person he'd ever come across, but no such luck. It seemed to be a species thing. He looked at his watch. Ten past five. The moon would come up at six so this would be over in fifty minutes. Good. He watched Remus making a lively comment involving both his arms and a kind of bow to something this Bogguard guy had said. He checked his watch again. Eleven past five. Oh dear.

"Tobias," Bogguard addressed him after Remus had finished his little charade. "It was a pleasure talking to you. I hope Remus brings you along some time."

"I bet he will," he said without so much as a hint of subtext. The last five conversations had made him go through sarcasm and out the other side. 

Bogguard left and Remus sighed, flopping on a chair. He made a face.

"What's it now?" Severus asked, rubbing his forehead.

"Your head again?" Remus retorted.

"No," he lied. In fact, his head had been hurting with increasing intensity over the past thirty minutes, and he had the feeling it wasn't going to stop. It was a deep, pounding pain that slowly seemed to work its way down his back and chest. "So, what is it with the face-making? Don't say all that babbling is getting on _your_ nerves too."

"Hm."

Severus' hand fell down. "Now wait. What do _you_ complain about? I've got five invitations including dinner, brunch and something I'd rather think of as ... sportive activity, and Mrs Calahan gave me her private - well, that doesn't count really but: I think I'm doing exceedingly well here. Isn't that what you wanted?" 

"I didn't want you to come just to pull acts for me!"

"_I meant the socialising_."

"Sorry. Yes. I think so ... maybe."

"Maybe? I don't believe this." He grabbed Remus' arm and dragged him over to a free space near the door. 

"Hey, let go! What is it with you and your mood swings tonight? Or roller-coasters, more like."

"Look who's talking. And see me laugh."

"Excuse me? I'm the one who transforms into a wolf in less than an hour. What's your excuse?"

"Well, _I_ had to smalltalk with at least 20,5 people per hour. I've invented some really fascinating details about Eagletown's bloody life, and I couldn't even take points from non-listeners like Mr Brushman, or for interrupting me - frequently - at interesting points like Mrs Jeery did. _And_ I had to memorise all those ridiculous names like Espladagos, Mountinshire and Grubbkart -"

"- Krubbgart."

"_Don't push it_."

Remus gave him an annoyingly innocent look. "Alright. But ... they didn't invite _you_ actually, or ... us. I mean, perhaps it would have been easier with you just being yourself."

Severus mentally clenched his fists. _Now_ he thought of that. "Easier? In what sense?"

Remus didn't reply but Severus knew anyway. 

"Maybe next time you should leave the planning to -" He stopped. All heads had turned in their direction. He forced a smile on his face. "_What_?" he hissed, out of the corner of his mouth. 

But Remus seemed as puzzled as he was. "I don't have the slightest idea. You weren't yelling. For once."

But everyone was already minding their own business again, like nothing had happened. Only Packler was still staring with unhidden discomfort and what Severus thought was disgust. Then he felt someone behind his back.

"Now look at all the little wolvies. Scared ugly freaks they are. Aren't they, Lupin? Just like you."

Remus froze on the spot while Severus jerked his head.

"So this is it? The Pack? Really frightening."

Remus turned around with a most impressive calm.

"Just stay for a little moon-gazing and we'll give you a lesson you won't forget, Malfoy." His voice was completely indifferent. "Bought yourself out of Azkaban, eh? What are you doing here?"

"That's none of your business, Lupin. Talking to _you_ is a waste of time anyway." He looked at Severus pointedly. "And you are?"

Severus tried to come up with an answer, but he somehow couldn't think straight. His head was now sending steady waves of pain through his body and this was just absurd. Malfoy didn't _belong_ here. He belonged to the other part of his life. To _one_ of the other parts ...

Malfoy curled his lips. "I say?"

Severus caught the quick, worried look Remus gave him but coudn't make anything of it. And Lucius looked as if he'd just come back from a sunny holiday trip. Severus made a step forward. The sudden rush of hate he now experienced took him by surprise. It reduced his headache to a mere background humming. 

"I don't need to give you my name. I'm just ... with him." 

Remus and Lucius each raised an eyebrow. "Fascinating," Lucius drawled. "Another disgusting detail about ex-professor Lupin. It adds nicely to all the other things on my list."

"Oh, you have a list, Mister ... what was the name again? Melody?" Severus growled.

"Malfoy."

"Never heard of it."

Remus laughed out loud and Lucius shot him a look of pure loathing. "Watch your snout, Lupin. Or I'll make sure you'll end up like that doggy friend of yours."

Remus didn't even flinch. "Save it, Malfoy. None of your threats can -" _provoke me_, he was going to say, but Severus was faster - and obviously provoked. He grabbed Malfoy by the collar of his suit, lifted him a few inches above the ground and then threw him against the door. Heads turned again, but this time more than one face showed a satisfied smile.

"Get out of here, _Mallory_, or I'll make you."

"It's Malf-"

"It's what I call you! Now get lost before I -"

Remus stepped between them. "Perhaps you really should consider to leave." Remus knew that people sometimes acted differently under the influence of Polyjuice, but this was wrong. Usually they were supposed to display aspects of the other person's personality, if anything at all. Severus should be a _lot_ calmer instead of this. But the look on his face said, wrong theory. 

"Apologize first, Mal-_few_."

Malfoy's face was rage-twisted. "Apologize? And it's Mal - " 

"As much as I would like to hear it, let's not do this _now_." Remus was still determined to end this scene, but again someone else was faster. Packler entered the stage.

"Friends and guests," she boomed once more. "Last-minute-thanks are in order before our first ever official Howling takes place. Which is in exactly twenty minutes." An overall sigh was heard from the audience. "Well, before we'll hear Mister Bricky on the topic of 'The Werewolves' Pride', the WWA would like to thank Professor Severus Snape from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry for helping us out with this most generous gift of Wolfsbane Potion."

"Is he here?" Malfoy asked sharply and Remus tried not to laugh again. He really didn't feel like it.

"Although," Packler went on, "Professor Snape's attempt on _flavour_ might have been a bit, let's say - overenthusiastic."

The laugh was out before Remus could stop it and both Severus and Malfoy glared at him.

"Another special thanks this year goes to Mister," Packler breathed in deeply, "Lucius Malfoy. For the donation of 3000 galleons to the Werewolf Orphans' Fund." While the audience fell into an awkward silence, Malfoy took his time to bring his suit in order.

"Ahem. So, without further ado - Mister Bricky, please!"

"I'll make it short, brothers and sisters. The common wolf likes the moon ... " Bricky started, but Remus didn't listen. "The Orphans' Fund? You must be joking. This will never work. Just how dumb exactly do you think we are?"

Malfoy, who had recovered remarkably quickly, grinned. "Of course it will work, and you know that, Lupin. People are so easily manipulated by money. They are drawn to power. But someone as powerless, and obviously moneyless, as you will never understand that." He cocked his head. "What's with your friend? He looks a bit deranged."

Severus tried to shut out the voices, because his head was on fire. This couldn't be a normal headache, and why hadn't he noticed that earlier? Oh right, because he wasn't quite ... himself. Perhaps a bit of fresh air -

He shoved Lucius aside and stumbled out of the building. He had almost reached the edge of the forest when he felt someone seizing his arm. 

"What are you doing?"

Severus shook his head. "I don't ... feel so good. Maybe I should skip the howling." Though - he strangely felt the urge to. He shook his head once more. _And I _must_ ask you to be discreet about this matter, Master Snape_.

Remus looked at him thoroughly before he let go of him. "I think you should take this Anti-Polyjuice Potion you've told me about and change back."

"Change back? Now? With Lucius breathing over our shoulders?" 

"Yes," he said determinedly. "Just do it. I think there's something wrong with the potion. You're in pain, and you're acting stranger than usual."

Severus needed a few seconds to take in the meaning of Remus' words, and then another wave of pain made his legs buckle. After what seemed to be hours, he looked up and saw Remus searching the sky ... _looking for your darling moon, wolfboy? _... turning around, looking at him ... _down their noses, all the time, at pathetic little Snape ..._ lots of people pouring out of the shack. And the pain ... _Jus' you wait, one day I'll show you ... bite you ... oh, do take care of your chocolate wrappers for once, Lupin, this is _my_ office ... _Remus slowly backed away from him ... _and hopefully we'll never meet again ... _So that was it? It was the worst pain Severus had ever felt.

***


	5. Chapter 5

****

Howling Lesson

Chapter 5

__

He's fifteen. Almost sixteen. And he hates James Potter. He hates all of them Marauders. They are everything he despises and everything he can't be. Won't be. Bad combination. He's going to pay them back. He's going to find out their secret. Tonight. They are hiding something underground. He sneaks through a tunnel that smells of earth and old things. Of course he isn't afraid. Slytherins aren't. And he's clever. Not very strong but he knows how to defend himself. He has his wand. He opens the door and listens carefully. There is not a single sound - and he knows that something is wrong. Then he sees the wolf. Huge. And it growls. He knows it's a werewolf and he knows he can stun it. Except that he can't. Because he can't move, he can't think, he can't run away. Its fur is grey and it glimmers in the moonlight like ... but he coulnd't have seen ... _its teeth are bared and now he's scared like when he was a kid. He's going to hurt. He's going to die. Now. It jumps and thrusts him into the wall. He can't breathe, he tries to get up, he's pinned down by the creature's enormous paws. And claws. And they rip ..._ drag - James dragged him away ..._ and tear at his skin and deeper_ ... lucky, Master Snape ..._ He feels the pain in searing waves and feels teeth sinking into his shoulder. He feels fur, cool fur, as he brings up his hands and tries to push it away from him ..._ he'd been lucky, Dumbledore said ... _but it's no use. It hurts ..._ lucky that Remus Lupin hadn't killed him ... _it ..._ stops.

He still felt fur in his hands. But that wasn't part of the memory. And the sickness definitely wasn't either. His whole body ... didn't feel right. And his head. He opened his eyes. And this time he didn't just see the wolf, he was also lying half way on top of it, and instead of pushing it away - he was clinging to it. 

He snapped his hands open and tried to ... get away. But this only made the pain worse - and the wolf move. It rose slowly to its feet, bringing Severus into a somewhat kneeling position in the process. He made a whiny sound, and bit his lips to stop it. He felt faintly ill. The wolf smoothly moved away from him, and the world started spinning when he lost the support. He slumped forward, his hands barely managing to hold him up, but after a few moments his heart stopped racing. 

He fixed his eyes on the grass. The werewolf was going to attack. He realised that he was unarmed, injured and disoriented. And werewolvesdid such things. Only - he wasn't scared anymore. He knew he should be. But he felt ... he felt safe. 

He looked up and met its eyes. Memories flashed back, up to the moment Remus had told him something about a wrong potion. After that, there had only been pain. He tried to make something of it. Whatever had happened, it couldn't have been good, could it? But somehow, right now - it didn't matter. It didn't matter because all he could do was stare at the wolf. Because ... seeing Remus like this was just breathtaking. The wolf stood rooted to the spot, returning his gaze. Severus made a faint attempt to get to his feet and the wolf backed away at once. "Don't -" he croaked, immediately frightened again. Not of an attack. But that Remus could leave him. The wolf stopped in its tracks and Severus fell back on the grass. "I'm all right," he added lamely. He sure as hell wasn't. 

He looked down his body and found he was covered in blood and mud. He wiped away some of it and saw the cuts and scratches all over his chest and belly. And his back didn't feel much better. He couldn't have been _attacked_? He held out his arms. Lots of bruises - but no bites ...._ You just know that something hurt you because you remember the pain. And there are no physical signs to prove anything - no bruises, no scars, not a scratch, because your wounds have closed_ ... Well, lots of proof here. Thank you very much. But ... proof for what? He couldn't have been ... transformed, could he? Not for real. 

"The potion," he said slowly, forcing his brain to work. But Polyjuice couldn't - he froze. The Wolfsbane Potion. If he'd really become a ... perhaps he _hadn't_ been attacked. Perhaps he'd been the one who - 

He sqinted at the wolf. There was an awful lot of blood on its fur too. But that didn't need to be ... he would never ... Severus stared so hard, his eyes began to hurt. And, as if in response, the wolf moved towards him, slowly, but without hesitation, until it was close enough to be touched.

Severus held his breath. Then, without thinking, he carefully stretched out one hand, feeling the warm breath on his arm when he reached past the wolf's head. If he'd ever experienced a magical moment ... his hand stopped in midair. This was just silly.

"Professor Snape?"

He jerked his hand back instantly - and for a second it hurt. Like he'd just missed a chance that wouldn't come back. Then, he felt someone wrapping a cloak around his shoulders, and a face filled his vision. A face he thought he should know. It smiled. 

"Here you are. Got you some clothes. Couldn't find your wand, though."

"Who are you?"

"I'm Flahery. You remember? Remus asked me to watch out for you at the convention. Well, if I'd known it would turn out like _this_ ...! But, just take your time." 

"Flahery. Of course I remember ... you twinkle too much."

"Ah, yes. That's me. Oh, my! Look at you. Can you walk? We should get you someplace safe ..." 

__

Someplace safe. He stumbled to his feet and Flahery kept him upright.

"... before Mr Malfoy wakes up."

He froze. "What?"

"Er. Perhaps you should ask questions later."

"I want to know what happened. To me, to ... what are _you_ doing here anyway?"

"I'm not a werewolf. My wife is."

"What happened to Malfoy?" 

"Oh, well, we had to Obliviate him."

Severus tried to laugh but it sounded more like a cough. "Sure. Because _you_ could cast a memory charm on _Lucius Malfoy_."

"Well, perhaps not. Although someone never knows. But - he was slightly distracted by that time. Remus will explain everything to you later. We have to get you home and patch you up. My, my."

"I don't need someone to do that."

Flahery frowned. "Actually, we should get you to St. Mung-"

"_Don't move_." Lucius' voice cut clearly through the air.

Flahery froze instantly and Severus ducked stupidly, and ineffectively, behind him, somehow managing to look over the old man's shoulder. Lucius stood about fourty feet away, merely a shadow in the dark. "Flahery, listen," Severus hissed. "If Malfoy sees me, we're all ... in trouble. Can you Apparate us?" Flahery stiffened but didn't do anything. Great.

"I know who you are," Lucius drawled, then paused for drama. "You think you are so clever, hiding behind your little friend so I wouldn't recognise you. But I do. And I say that's pathetic - Potter."

Severus gaped. "Which memory charm - _exactly_ - did you use?" he hissed once more.

"Does it matter?" Flahery hissed back. "He thinks you're Harry Potter. Must have messed up my charm, after all, but ... that's good, right?"

"You tell me."

Lucius swung his wand in a wild gesture. "Say your prayers, Potter!"

"Oh."

Severus pushed Flahery to the ground. "Now _wait_ - "

The wolf jumped.

"NO!"

The rest was drowned by multiple howls. Severus thought they came from behind, but he wasn't sure. The howling filled the air all around him. The sound made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up on end, and to his utter disbelief he felt himself breathe in deeply, a howl forming in his throat. He bit it down. With much effort. He didn't even _want_ to know. Come to think of it, what he actually wanted ... _Remus_. He spun around, or tried to, and saw the grey wolf sitting a few feet away from Lucius, seemingly tense and ready to pounce. The howling got louder and louder and then he saw them. Lots of them. He didn't count, but _definitely_ there were too many for his liking. They broke out of the woods, closing in on Flahery, Malfoy and himself. Then, one by one, the howls died down, only to be replaced by a low growling. He knew they weren't going to harm him, but he started shaking nonetheless.

Lucius didn't look much better. He wheeled around frantically. "What are you doing? Call them back! Or I'll kill them!"

"You can't kill them all. Not before one gets _you_," Flahery said from somewhere down. "I - er, Albus Dumbledore - advise you to Apparate, before I let my faithful werewolves deal with you. And don't mess around with The Pack!" He was propped up on his elbows, obviously enjoying the act. "THAT'S -" Severus kicked him. "- all," Flahery finished. 

Lucius was breathing heavily. "You ... you!"

"Your wand." Severus held his eyes fixed on Lucius, waving a trembling hand at Flahery. "Give me your wand."

Flahery fumbled complicatedly around the pockets of his robes and finally managed to come up with the right thing. Severus snatched it, and before Lucius had managed to stop goggling, did the charm. 

"OBLIVIATE!" 

***

He closed his eyes and wrapped the cloak tighter around his body. He was cold. 

He also had a slight feeling of déjà vu, cursing Lucius. Sometime - he wouldn't get away with it so easily.

And he still didn't know why and what had happened, and he wished the wolves would go away. And he ... he heard Flahery talking to someone about Malfoy, and when he opend his eyes again, a girl approached him. She smiled uncertainly, holding up a bundle.

"I think that's what's left of your ... suit. Sorry. But I found your wand."

Severus took it and nodded. Did he really have to understand all this? Would he have to worry about the fact that everyone here seemed to know him? At least all the wolves were gone now. He tried to scan through the trees for Remus, and there was some movement, but it was hard to tell. He was so tired. A last, single howl had somehow got stuck in his head. And strangely - he didn't mind.

*** 


	6. Chapter 6

Author Notes:

Alright! (It's done, it's done! Harhar - Oh, never mind me) Sorry, it took FOREVER - but here comes the last chapter. Lovely yap beta-wolfed and ... everything else.

All of Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling.

Enjoy!

Mi

****

Howling Lesson

Chapter 6

He woke up, but kept his eyes closed. He felt sick and only hoped that he wouldn't have to throw up, because it also felt like his head was lying on someone's legs. And voices, too. So there would be at least two other people watching. 

__

"That's impossible! I've never heard anything like this." 

__

"I know, but -"

"Perhaps it wasn't the Polyjuice alone. Maybe he's a latent Animagus with a potential wolf-form and this somehow interfered with the potion?"

"I don't think so ..."

"Fascinating as this may be, Flahery - we have a problem here. Can we please focus on that?"

Oh God, was he still _here_? He must have dozed off while waiting for Remus, or ... blacked out again? This was clearly embarassing. He had to get up! But the thought alone made his stomach twist.

__

"I'd have thought you knew about the regulations for this convention, Remus. Even if you didn't intend it, did you ever think about the consequences this would have for the community? My God ... if the Ministry or that bloody Malfoy finds out that we had an uncontrolled werewolf running free in Hampstead Heath!"

"I know."

"Not to mention that your friend could have bitten someone or killed -" 

"He didn't hurt anyone_! And it's not as if the community hadn't had accidents before and some of those were worse - "_

"Whatever. I'm doing everything I can to get this under control. But - why the disguise? You should at least explain that_ to me."_

"Nobody must know that Professor Snape attended the convention, Maliva. You have to trust me on that."

"Yes, I've got so far by now. But I want to know why_. I'm not stupid. I mean, your friend went straight for Malfoy when he was - and we'll talk about this later - a wolf."_

"Malfoy was ... closest."

"No, he wasn't."

"Correct. I was ... Perhaps the professor is a spy?"

"Flahery, please."

"Look. I know I'm responsible for this and I owe you an explanation, but I have to get Severus home to do some more Healing Spells. We have to do this tomorrow."

Severus heard Packler's exaggerated breathing and felt that this should be the right moment to ... save the situation. He started to prop himself up, which was surprisingly easier than he'd thought. "I know Malfoy." And his voice - or most of it - was back too. "He isn't exactly a _friend_ of the, er, community and especially of Lupin. We had an argument shortly before I turned into ... whatever -"

"Werewolf." 

He squinted at Flahery. "I figured, thank you. They turn into bats at night, right?" He paused, confused. "Anyway - Malfoy threatened Remus and I think that's why I attacked him. And as for the secrecy, that's because ... I ... " 

"They have a secret love affair and, you know - the Ministry. A Hogwarts teacher getting involved with an unworthy werewolf. Bad example for students. Ministry not happy. And Professor Snape would lose his job. End of story." Flahery grinned smugly. "And they're not allowed to date vampires either."

Now Packler shot Flahery a dark look but seemed to consider the possibility nonetheless. She cocked her head, flinching from Remus to Severus until she stopped somewhere in between.

"I know this is difficult for you, Remus ... " Her voice became overly sympathetic and Severus saw Remus' eyes narrow in a not-good way. " ... and I know the outcome of this was not to be foreseen, but that's not an excuse to endanger everyone else. I hope you will learn from this incident. I sadly can't guarantee that Professor Snape's identity will stay a secret, but - as I said before - I'm trying."

Remus looked like he was going to jump at her or Flahery any second now, but Severus couldn't be bothered with making up anything else, embarrassing or not. And it _had_ been his and Remus' fault after all. So ... "Let's go home now," he said slowly, vaguely tapping Remus' shoulder so that he looked at him.

"Right you are. Do that," Packler cut in. "But I'll see you tomorrow, Remus." She turned on her heels without giving Severus another glance.

"Think I should be off too," Flahery stated, cheerful to the end. "Professor, it was nice meeting you. Let's do this sometime again." He twinkled, turning conspirationally over to Remus. "I like him, he's like ... protective. And if I were you, I would check on my theory about the Animagus thingy. Could be fun."

***

When Packler and Flahery had got out of sight, Remus let out a deep snort. He felt completely exhausted. This had _so _not happened. He let his head fall onto Severus' shoulder and closed his eyes for a moment. He didn't know what to make of it, really. 

"You know," Severus said in a composed voice, "it could be worse."

Remus laughed and then coughed. "It _definitely_ could be worse." He didn't even want to think about it. He hadn't been more afraid since ... long. He brought his head up and Severus kissed him reluctantly. When they drew back he felt at least a lot warmer. 

"So tell me, what did I, er ... look like?"

"You really want to know?"

"Did we ... fight? Or ... there was a lot of blood on your fur."

Remus held his gaze. "That was yours. And _no_, we didn't fight. And you really looked quite ... beautiful."

"Beautiful?" Severus sneered, but only half-heartedly. "I thought about something along the lines of fierce or intimidating." But remembering how Remus had looked as a wolf ...

"If it's any comfort to you, there aren't many _black_ werewolves around. That's special. At least your front half, the back was rather Tobias on a bad moon. But ..." Remus made a teacherly face.

"But what?"

"Your howling."

"What's with it?" Severus snapped and then frowned. Had he just seriously asked about his ability to _howl_?

Remus gave him a broad grin. "Maybe we can ... work on it? Just a bit, so it gets _really_ impressive. Not just, you know, average." 

"In your dreams, wolfboy."

***

One full moon later:

Severus Snape swallowed down the last bits of his cereal while groping around for some toast.

"You look as if you had a rough night. _So_, is that a bruise or a love-bite on your neck?" McGonagall held a small bowl under his nose and gave him a challenging look. "Honey?"

"What?" Severus' hand shot up to the collar of his robe. "It's ... a bruise." _Maybe_, he added silently and felt the heat rising up in his cheeks. 

She smiled. "I've seen worse."

"I bet you have." He snatched the glass out of her hand and started violently spreading honey on two of his four toasts. "I had a - _business meeting_," he lied. 

She gasped. "I'm sorry. I didn't know. I didn't mean to ... " 

She dropped her gaze and fell silent. Severus grinned maliciously. "It was a joke. Last night was just fine."

"You ... a joke about you-know-what? You are _unbelievable_!" On her other side, Flitwick took interest but she ignored him pointedly. "_Give me the bacon_," she hissed.

They continued eating. But although McGonagall stayed respectfully silent, she squinted at him. Repeatedly. After two boiled eggs he gave up. "What is it now?"

She shoved her plate away and folded her hands on the table. "Something's different. Sadly it's not the hair, but still -" 

"What do you mean?" He frowned. "I'm just tired, that's all." Why couldn't she just go and bother someone else.

"Hmm ... you don't look tired." 

He wished he'd stayed in bed.

"You smell."

He dropped his porridge. "_Excuse me_?"

"Are you secretly practising?"

"Practising? I don't need to practi - what for?"

"Well, either it's that or you went hunting with Hagrid, _or_ you bought yourself a dog. But honestly I don't think the dog or Hagrid are options here."

"_I smell like a dog_?"

She narrowed her eyes. "Not quite. But close."

Severus' mouth fell open. "Are you by any chance suspecting me of trying to become an Animagus? That's nonsense, even from you."

"So?"

"So what?"

"Come on. Tell me. We've had a bet running for years about your Animagus form. You just seem the type for it."

"_We_?"

"The teachers. So what is it?"

Severus opened his mouth. He had not the slightest idea how ... "A wolf." ... to get out of this.

"Oh, dear. Really?" McGonagall seemed annoyingly amused. "I don't think someone was betting on that. It's quite a coincidence, don't you think? And a rather scary one - psychologically speaking. I think it _means_ something. Maybe you should consult the works of Freud." She beamed, and sounded more smug with every word. "Well, if you need my help, don't hesitate to -" 

"I can handle. _Thank you_."

She tapped her fingers thoughtfully on the table. "Fine. We best keep it a secret then. Just in case it -" she lowered her voice even more "- gets _Order-relevant_."

She continued her breakfast and Severus was left in peace. Of course it meant something. More than he actually could put into words. But that didn't have anything to do with that bloody Animagus issue. Or with the -

"Did you get the howling right?" 

- that.

"Actually, Minerva, I did. And if I dare say - it was most impressive."

__

the end

End Notes:

Hopefully I confused everyone with that bloody Animagus issue - and, to make your confusion complete, here's a little deleted scene between Remus and Severus:

"I'm not going to be an Animagus! Minerva just thought -"

"Come on, tell me. You're not an insect, are you?"

"_Of course not_!"

"A spider? A bat! You're like Batman!"

"You have too much imagination for your own good, wolfboy."

And for those of you who remember chapter 4 and Severus' argument with Lucius:

"I remember Lucius showing up, but after that ...? What did Mal-" Severus stopped, looking puzzled.

"-foy?" Remus suggested with a grin.

"Funny. But - did I say something about an 'apocalypse first'? Oh, scratch that. But at least I could have bitten him. That would have paid for all the headache."

"You did. Cheer up."

"Er-xcuse me?"


End file.
